An extract from Недоросль by Denis Fonvizin, part 1

By E-chan.

Недоросль (The Minor) is a famous play written by Denis Fonvizin in 1782.

The play is set in the Prostakovs' village. The Prostakovs are country gentry. Prostakov is meek and always obeys his wife. Prostakova is a despot who thinks that in her house she can do whatever she wishes. Both are illiterate. They hire teachers for their son just because of fashion but whether he learned anything or not doesn't really matter to them.
Mitrofan – their son, about sixteen years old. Ignorant, selfish and ill-mannered, very spoiled by his mother.
Sofia – their relative. After her parents' death she's been living with the Prostakovs.
Starodum – Sofia's uncle and guardian.
Pafnutych Tsyfirkin – Mitrofan's arithmetic teacher.

Starodum has been away for several years and the Prostakovs consider him dead. Suddenly a letter arrives from him where he writes that he earned a fortune and made Sofia his heiress. Prostakova desides to marry her son to Sofia. Soon Starodum himself arrives to take Sofia to Moscow.

In this scene Prostakova persuades her son to study a little with his teachers to make a good impression on Starodum.

Г-жа Простакова. Пока он отдыхает, друг мой, ты хоть для виду поучись, чтоб дошло до ушей его, как ты трудишься, Митрофанушка.
Prostakova. While he is having a rest, my friend, study a bit at least for the sake of appearance, so that it reaches his ears how hard you work, Mitrofanushka.
г-жа = госпожа – a title before woman's name
поучиться – to study for a while
Митрофанушка – diminutive/affectionate for Митрофан

Митрофан. Ну! А там что?
Mitrofan. Well! And then what?
там – then (colloquial)

Г-жа Простакова. А там и женисся.
Prostakova. And then you will get married.

Митрофан. Слушай, матушка. Я те потешу. Поучусь; только чтоб это был последний раз и чтоб сегодни ж быть сговору.
Mitrofan. Listen, mother. I will please you. I'll study; but it must be the last time and today there should be a betrothal.
матушка – diminutive for “мама”; rarely used nowadays
ж = же – a particle, it's used to emphasize a previous word
сговор (obsolete) – a marriage agreement between the parents of the bride and groom

Г-жа Простакова. Придет час воли божией!
Prostakova. The hour of the will of God will come!

Митрофан. Час моей воли пришел. Не хочу учиться, хочу жениться. Ты ж меня взманила, пеняй на себя. Вот я сел.
Mitrofan. The hour of my will has come. I don't want to study, I want to get married. You tempted me, so blame yourself. Here I sat down.
взманить (obsolete) – to tempt, to entice
пеняй на себя – blame yourself (set expression)

Цыфиркин очинивает грифель.
Tsyfirkin sharpens the slate pencil.

Г-жа Простакова. А я тут же присяду. Кошелек повяжу для тебя, друг мой! Софьюшкины денежки было б куды класть.
Prostakova. And I'll sit down right there. I'll knit a purse for you, my friend! So that there would be where to put Sofyushka's money.
присесть – to sit down for a short time
повязать – to knit a little
Софьюшка – diminutive/affectionate for Софья
б = бы

Митрофан. Ну! Давай доску, гарнизонна крыса! Задавай, что писать.
Mitrofan. Well! Give me the slate, garrison rat! Tell me what to write.

Цыфиркин. Ваше благородие, завсегда без дела лаяться изволите.
Tsyfirkin. Your excellency, you always bark without a reason.
завсегда – colloquial for всегда
изволить (obsolete) – to desire, to wish; it was used to respectfully talk to or about noblemen

Г-жа Простакова (работая). Ах, господи боже мой! Уж робенок не смей и избранить Пафнутьича! Уж и разгневался!
Prostakova (working). Oh, my dear God! A child can't even scold Pafnutych! He's already angry!
уж = уже – now, already; not anymore, no longer (in a negative sentence)
сметь – to dare, to make bold, to be so bold as to

Цыфиркин. За что разгневаться, ваше благородие? У нас российская пословица: собака лает, ветер носит.
Tsyfirkin. Why should I be angry, your excellency? We have a Russian proverb: the dog barks, the wind carries.

Митрофан. Задавай же зады, поворачивайся.
Mitrofan. Let's repeat the old stuff, move it.
зады (obsolete) – something that was learned a long time ago
поворачиваться – (here) to hurry up

Цыфиркин. Всё зады, ваше благородие. Ведь с задами-то век назади останесся.
Tsyfirkin. Always old stuff, your excellency. After all, with old stuff you’ll always remain behind.
всё – all the time, always, it emphasizes the continuance of the situation
-то – a particle used to give intonational emphasis to a part of speech
век – lifetime; for ages, always
назади – colloquial for позади, сзади

Г-жа Простакова. Не твое дело, Пафнутьич. Мне очень мило, что Митрофанушка вперед шагать не любит. С его умом, да залететь далеко, да и боже избави!
Prostakova. None of your business, Pafnutych. It pleases me very much that Mitrofanushka does not like to move forward. With his brain and to fly far, God forbid!

Цыфиркин. Задача. Изволил ты, на приклад, идти по дороге со мною. Ну, хоть возьмем с собою Сидорыча. Нашли мы трое...
Tsyfirkin. A problem. Suppose you, for example, walked with me along the road. Well, let's take Sidorych with us for example. We found, the three of us...
наприклад (obsolete) = например
хоть – for example, for instance, might as well
трое – three in a group together

Митрофан (пишет). Трое.
Mitrofan (writes). Three.

Цыфиркин. На дороге, на приклад же, триста рублев.
Tsyfirkin. On the road, again for example, three hundred rubles.

Митрофан (пишет). Триста.
Mitrofan (writes). Three hundred.

Цыфиркин. Дошло дело до дележа. Смекни-тко, по чему на брата?
Tsyfirkin. It came to sharing out. Think, how much should each get?
смекнуть (colloquial) – to understand, to figure out
-ка (here, -тко) – a particle used to soften a request, an order
на брата (colloquial) – each, a head

Митрофан (вычисляя, шепчет). Единожды три — три. Единожды нуль — нуль. Единожды нуль — нуль.
Mitrofan (calculating, whispers). One by three is three. One by zero is zero. One by zero is zero.

Г-жа Простакова. Что, что до дележа?
Prostakova. What, what about sharing out?

Митрофан. Вишь, триста рублев, что нашли, троим разделить.
Mitrofan. You see, three hundred rubles that we found should be divided between three people.
вишь (colloquial, from “видишь”) – see!, (just) look, listen

Г-жа Простакова. Врет он, друг мой сердечный! Нашел деньги, ни с кем не делись. Все себе возьми, Митрофанушка. Не учись этой дурацкой науке.
Prostakova. He is lying, my dear friend! If you found money, don't share it with anyone. Take everything for yourself, Mitrofanushka. Don't learn this stupid science.

Митрофан. Слышь, Пафнутьич, задавай другую.
Mitrofan. You hear it, Pafnutych, give me another one.

Цыфиркин. Пиши, ваше благородие. За ученье жалуете мне в год десять рублей.
Tsyfirkin. Write, your excellency. For teaching you grant me ten rubles a year.

Митрофан. Десять.
Mitrofan. Ten.

Цыфиркин. Теперь, правда, не за что, а кабы ты, барин, что-нибудь у меня перенял, не грех бы тогда было и еще прибавить десять.
Tsyfirkin. Now there is nothing to pay for, to be sure, but if you, sir, learned anything from me, it would not be a sin then to add ten more.
правда – though, admittedly, to be sure
кабы (colloquial) – if
барин (historical) – a form of address to a nobleman

Митрофан (пишет). Ну, ну, десять.
Mitrofan (writes). Well, well, ten.

Цыфиркин. Сколько ж бы на год?
Tsyfirkin. How much for a year?

Митрофан (вычисляя, шепчет). Нуль да нуль — нуль. Один да один… (Задумался.)
Mitrofan (calculating, whispers). Zero and zero is zero. One and one ... (Thinks deeply.)

Г-жа Простакова. Не трудись по-пустому, друг мой! Гроша не прибавлю; да и не за что. Наука не такая. Лишь тебе мученье, а все, вижу, пустота. Денег нет — что считать? Деньги есть — сочтем и без Пафнутьича хорошохонько.
Prostakova. Do not toil in vain, my friend! I won't add a penny; besides there is nothing to pay for. That's not the right kind of science. Only a torment for you, and, as I can see, it's all useless. No money – what to count? There is money – we'll count it well enough without Pafnutych.
грош – a two-kopeck coin
да и – besides

Watch the episode here and (skip the dialogue between the teachers) here.
You can find the full text here.

The second part.